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Joke of the Day

"Why did the empty string do immoral things? Because it had no character."

"So, a girl was giving me a handjob... and I told her to stop because she was rubbing me the wrong way."

"If you send more than one Facebook invitation to the same thing, I will come & shit right in the middle of whatever it is."

"""I'm independent"" Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace."

"I was sitting on an automatic toilet yesterday and it flushed underneath me before I was done. Scared the shit outta me."

"It's a hard life being a window... Everyone can see right through you"

"Arab man gets on a bus and a Jewish woman scoffs and pinches her nose.... Arab says, youve got the problem lady, Ishmael good *OC, Dont hate, probably not as bad if you verbalize it."

"I'm not saying my wife's a fat,...... I'm not saying my wife's a fat, greedy bitch, but she's just cleaned the cooker with two fucking slices of bread."

"Whats the difference between Peanut butter and Jam? You can't Peanut Butter a dick up your ass."

"Someone asked me if I'd found my soulmate and I was like lol I cant even find my debit card."