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Joke of the Day

"Why is food better than men? Because you don't have to wait an hour for seconds."

"I had a dream that I was fighting Jason Bourne, Will Hunting and Tom Ripley Thanks to months of therapy, I'm finally battling my Damons."

"I had sex with somebody and caught their cold. I have snyphilis."

"OMG! It's colder than a pimps heart out here!"

"- Are you excited sir? - Yes! I'm gonna feed whales & pet dolphins! - Sir, this flight is going to Finland - That's like Seaworld, right?"

"What kind of bug can survive all winter? A bahumbug!"

"Where did the sick boat go? To the dock."

"Whenever I have a one night stand I always use protection A fake name and fake phone number."

"What is born skinless, flies wingless and sings until it dies? A fart. *dedicated to my dear departed Grandfather who told me this joke almost 40 years ago when I was a kid.*"

"What did one bridge say to another? ""Fuck you"" (They were arch enemies)"