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Joke of the Day
"Oh, topical reference. You sure are about something."
Next Joke
"What did Kurtis Blow tell his son when teaching him how to drive? THESE are the brakes!"
"If a woman repeats what you just said in the form of a question, you'll be dead soon."
"How do you get an fat chick into bed? Piece of cake. Stolen from /u/No1ReallyCares' comment"
"You shouldn't buy so much Velcro... It usually a ripoff"
"THE POWER OF NACHOS COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF NACHOS COMPELS YOU!"
"What mammal dies after it mates? Anyone that goes near my wife!"
"Optimists see a glass that's half full Pessimists see a glass that's half empty Engineers see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be"
"Does the defense have any last words? ""Yes I do your honor... THE FLOOR IS MADE OF LAVA"" [Judge & jury scramble to get on top of tables]"
"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust"