214477

Joke of the Day

"Just discovered an app that tells you which one of your friends is stupid. It's called Facebook."

"Dating Tips. C all her 69 times a day. R ing her doorbell and hide. E avesdrop by phone tapping. E ye her bffs. P oke her on FB."

"[opens lunchbox] YOGURT?!? o no... that means... [my dad is at the office surounded by men and women in suits asking if they can hav a dunkaroo]"

"How is pussy like veal? It tastes sweeter the younger it is."

"I couldn't work for that man anymore, especially now after what he said to me. He said, ""You're fired"""

"PATIENT: I bet medical school was pretty tough DR DOG: yeah I remember one time I did my assignment 4 times bc I ate the first 3 copies lol"

"I told the insect I knew he used to be part of an elite military unit he was exuberant"

"What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? My Zipper"

"No thanks, doctor's office that used to be a house."

"Just thought I caught my wife looking at porn; turns out she was shopping for underwear for herself. What a fucking pervert."