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Joke of the Day

"Pete and Repete are in a boat and Pete falls out. Who's left?"

"Chinese Takeaway - 24 Petrol To pick it up - 2 Getting home and realizing the twats have forgotten one of your containers. Riceless"

"Doctor doctor I'm having difficulty sleeping. Doctor: Well maybe it's your bed. Oh I'm all right at night it's in the day I have problems."

"If a man says something in the woods and there is not a woman to hear it, is he still wrong? I was going to post this is in /r/philosophy but I think we all agree on the same answer."

"What do you call two lesbians on a canoe? Fur Traders"

"A magic genie granted a man one wish. ""I wish I had a dick that touched the floor"" the man said. The genie then snapped his fingers and *poof* The man's legs disappeared."

"A man walks in to a bar... And murders all the redditers who have Posted a man walks in to a bar joke. Ouch"

"FRIEND: get our wedding invitation? ME: i did, somebody hand wrote 'do not bring pan flute' F: yea i really wanted to make sure you saw that"

"My kids think all food includes long, dark hairs as standard."

"How many people in America do you think I can trick into believing that Brexit is the name of one of Sarah Palin's kids?"