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Joke of the Day

"I farted alone in a room and then my girlfriend's dad came in. Now I have to pretend like something is dead in the walls and help him look."

"""Would you like to put your hand deep into this hole"" - Pokemon I know it says no outside links but it's necessary cause it's a screenshot of a poorly phrased event in Pokemon http://imgur.com/a/Zt8X6"

"Boss: ok just bear with me *I growl and start clawing the air* B: wtf are you doing Me: I..You said.. B:first snail mail' now this..Just go"

"What's the difference between a roasted chicken and a time bomb? If you don't know the answer please never invite me to dinner."

"What's worse than having a screaming child on your hands? Having half a screaming child on your hands."

"How do you know your sister's on her period? Your father's cock tastes like blood."

"To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential."

"What do you call a skinny tree that raps? Slim Shady"

"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."

"What do you say to the guy who just jumped in the septic tank? Urine over your head!"