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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Mechanic who slept under the car? He wanted to wake up oily in the morning."

"Why Colonel had a bunch of underwears ? Because, Brigadier General asked him to debrief his team."

"""Alright they've left for vacation lets rob em"" Oh shoot their porch lights are on ""So what we literally watched them leave"" Rules are rules"

"An opening line when you're meeting her parents. I cut back on the alcohol because you should be able to trust a fart at 27."

"What's the difference between Jews and Pizzas? Pizzas don't scream in the oven. *Preparing self For the downvotes/Report*"

"What happens when the smog rises in Los Angeles...? . . . . UCLA."

"I might have Alzheimer's... But at least I don't have Alzheimer's."

"Went to the dog car dealership. I could tell the salespeople were friendly, since I got all the Volkswagen at me!"

"I have two personal trainers... One on each foot!"

"Many Americans would be surprised to know that we Europeans also have shooting ranges They're called schools and children are sent there to learn"