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Joke of the Day

"One night I dreamt that I was a muffler... I woke up exhausted."

"Why did hitler get an A in chemistry? He always knew the final solution!"

"The thing that frightens me the most about being brutally murdered is having Nancy Grace screeching about the details of it on primetime tv."

"The prince didn't mind living in his father's luxurious house but some days it was hard living in the chateau of his father"

"How do male civil unions not end with the phrase ""I dude""?"

"How many architects does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but he has to coordinate ten other professionals who are doing this quiet complicated task."

"So I asked my Dad, ""What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?"" ""Probably a tumor."""

"There's two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says.. You man the guns, I'll drive'"

"I watched ""The Edge of Tomorrow"" hundreds of times there seems to be an awful lot of alternative endings though."

"What's the difference between hanging with friends and jacking it on the toilet? One means you're taking a load off and shooting the shit, the other is taking a shit and shooting a load off."