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Joke of the Day

"Two dyslexic bank robbers attempted to rob the local bank today. (NSFW) They ran in and said ""Air in the hands mother stickers this is a fuck up!!"""

"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw in the light bulb, the other to hold the ~~penis.~~ ladder."

"I was very impressed by this child's witch costume. Until I realised she was just an ugly midget in a black dress."

"Why was the doctor so stressed out? He lost his patients..."

"To avoid butterflies in your stomach, don't eat caterpillars."

"An American tourist found himself in a sleepy country village and asked one of the locals the age of the oldest inhabitant. ""Well sir"" replied the villager ""we ain't got one now. He died last week."""

"Black guys like thick thighs Cuz they hate apart thighs."

"(dark humor) In the used cars for sale add i am selling very little used wife whole or in pieces."

"Sundays always bring out my inner senior citizen...."

"*comes back with wife's purse* w: I said don't run or people will think you stole it! How many times did you get tackled? m:[bleeding] Twice"