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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Meat Packing CEO? He built his empire from the ground up. Ground up meat."

"You know what they say about wizards with big hands? The have big staffs"

"My friend said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at him."

"The Mother Of All storms (Frankenstorm) is heading toward New York City... Trump better get out the hairspray."

"I've been eating healthy for six whole hours now. Why am I still fat?"

"An alien makes contact. I take it home, give it a sandwich. Then ice cream. And then, to show we're an advanced race, an ice cream sandwich."

"Why did the surfer join ISIS? Because he was totally radical! EDIT: I guess this didn't blow up."

"I always bring 2 pop tarts to work, so I can eat one now and the other one also now."

"When Bruce Jenner changed sex's. I thought damn... he's Trans-Jenner?"

"If bullshit could float...you'd be the Admiral of the fleet! "