213577

Joke of the Day

"Chuck Norris caught all pokemons. With nokia 3310."

"I have almost 120,000 miles on my office chair."

"What's the difference between a park bench and a writer? A park bench can support a family."

"When I die, please bury me wrapped in a sheet. That way I won't have to look for one when I become a ghost"

"I think my cats hate people as much as I do. Every time the doorbell rings, they hide under the bed with me."

"My phone wanted to auto correct, ""mos def"" to ""most definitely."" I swear, my phone has absolutely zero swag."

"The chef at my local Chinese restaurant had a nasty fall at work, and was so badly injured he had to give up his job. He'll never wok again."

"""It just feels so good to have a clean apartment!"" - someone who's never killed a bear with a sword"

"People setting up GoFundMe's because they can't afford a TV... Don't you know that's what lay-a-way is for?"

"ME: I play for the Philadelphia Eagles. HER: What position do u play? ME: I'm a *thinks back to the only game I watched* wide-retriever."