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Joke of the Day

"If anyone needs me, I'll be over at facebook, actin' creepy."

"Who's the idiot that named it a Brazilian and not a Tropical Smoothie?"

"I don't know what I'd do without Twitter. Probably my work."

"Who is the only superhuman Frozone can't deal with? Thor."

"A guy never feels more like a pussy than when he's wearing a helmet while driving a motor scooter."

"Who is Cauli? And why the fuck didn't anyone tell him that he was planting vegetables and not flowers."

"Doctor gets a call...My husband just swallowed aspirin By mistake, what should I do? Doctor: give him some headache now! It will help!"

"Which state does the most laundry? Washington."

"What's the difference between an apple and a dead baby? I don't ejaculate on an apple before I eat it."

"Every time I approach girls they inexplicably shoot away from me. Can't say definitively if I have the force but... The correlation is strong with this one."