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Joke of the Day

"How much does a rabbi charge for a circumcision? Nothing, he just keeps the tips."

"I am a joke And my kid is the punch line"

"What doesn't kill me makes me smaller - Mario"

"Men at the supermarket are like fish in an aquarium. Silent, with no recollection of how or why they got there."

"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? A guy in a wheelchair after a house fire."

"I am going to follow a random gang of drunk girls around the night club tonight, and just be in the background of all of their photos."

"So I'm reading that ""twerking"" and ""selfie"" have been added to the dictionary. ""Future"" and ""optimism"" have been removed..."

"First Kiss BF finally Kissed Her GF GF: Wow i can't believe that a Kiss is so nice.. BF: Ofcourse I told you.. Is it Your First Kiss? (smiling) GF: Yes! since my EX Boyfriends wants sex right away"

"Did I ever tell you about how I lost my job at Tropicana? I couldn't concentrate."

"A chicken and an egg just finished having sex The egg starts smoking a cigarette and says ""well I guess we know the answer to that question""."