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Joke of the Day

"What's a comedian's favorite candy? Laffy Taffy."

"What is Santa's favorite band? Slayer."

"[Inventing Cotton Candy] What if insulation was delicious?"

"I've gone unverified for 5,000 years. Why change now?"

"Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut nowadays. Then again, very few people cut their own hair."

"Chuck Norris qualified with a top speed of 324 mph at the Daytona 500, without a car."

"Thank god for smart phones I was getting tired or reading the back of shampoo bottles while in the bathroom"

"Bilbo wakes up suddenly to Don't Stop Believing. It was an unexpected Journey."

"My bra has felt way too tight all day. Sorry I just had to get that off my chest."

"I was going to right down a joke about espousal abuse... But my hand was too sore"