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Joke of the Day
"Hey baby, are you a carrot? Because I want to chop you into little pieces."
Next Joke
"Simple Chat.. Conversation: G: Im done. Let's split-up. B: What? Why? Where did I go wrong? G: Oh, im sorry babe wrong send. B: Thank goodness!"
"Why does windows 9 not exist? Because 7 8 9."
"How many startup CEOs does it take to change a light bulb? Change a light bulb? Pfft! We are game changers."
"Everybody should be free to vote in a general election. Everybody should be free to vote in the X factor. Nobody should be able to vote in both."
"Paid $50 for a device that has a motion detector that emits a sound to scare off neighbor's cat....she's out there rubbing up against it now"
"My cooking show would just be an hour of me looking for Tupperware lids."
"Romney: ""I have nothing but respect for women. I'm good friends with the owners of some."""
"What did the porn star wear to court? Birthday suit"
"*goes to the park* *spoon feeds red bull to the ducks*"