213105

Joke of the Day

"Arnold's is long and hard.. The president's is very short, Madonna doesn't have one, and the Pope has one, but he doesn't use it."

"They say time flies like the wind.. But fruit flies like bananas"

"Sex is a lot like chess. It takes strategy, patience, there's a horse there, the queen is watching."

"I created a Harry Potter thread in ask reddit. I wanted Sirius replies only."

"NO I WOULD NOT LIKE TO KNOW WHAT FRUIT MY BODY IS SHAPED LIKE"

"What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire? A bunny with money."

"if you write something and include a ""tl;dr"" version that just means you're shitty at keeping peoples attention with your awful writing"

"Bruce Willis is talking to a parrot. ""I'm Bruce Willis"" he says. The parrot repeats it. ""yeah right"" Bruce says, but is secretly worried"

"My science teacher said he was going to show me his transistor. Imagine my surprise when a woman with a penis showed up."

"A Photon checks into a hotel and the bellhop asks him if he has any luggage. The Photon replies ""No I'm traveling light"""