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Joke of the Day

"How do wasps send messages? By bee-mail."

"I decided to be vegan! Until I realized that it was a missed steak"

"Does your state have less water than California? Drought it."

"1. Sit down next to stranger on park bench. 2. Place an envelope beside him. 3. Whisper, ""It has to look like an accident."" 4. Walk away."

"[babies txting] ""my dad's thumb just came off"" wtf ""woah wait its back on again"" no way ""great he's stole my nose now"" im phoning the police"

"Taco Bell doesn't have a playground because kids that eat Taco Bell can't climb, or run."

"Doctor Doctor you've taken out my tonsils my adenoids my gall bladder my varicose veins and my appendix but I still don't feel well. That's quite enough out of you !"

"Been chatting and flirting with this 14 year old chick Now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How freakin' cool is that for someone her age."

"I once knew this vegetable joke ..but then they pulled the plug"

"Reading a book about anti-gravity... and its impossible to put down"