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Joke of the Day

"People wont mess with you if you eat a cup of yogurt and then smash it on your forehead because youre tough and have healthy bowel movements"

"I want to pass away peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandpa did. Not screaming in a car crash like the passengers in his car."

"Today is the day I release the coyote I trained on Windows 95 back into the wild."

"If diamonds are a girl's best friend how come diamonds never drunkenly make out with me?"

"Did you hear about that man who used somebody else's legs? He could never stand up on his own two feet."

"To take her mind off being mistakenly judged Miss Universe,Miss Columbia went to get her teeth whitened.. The Dentist told her she needs a crown."

"""..so that's the story of Christmas. Questions?"" Where do turtledoves come from? ""Well, when a turtle and a dove really love each other.."""

"It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers."

"My dentist said I grind at night. I was like, ok stalker."

"confucius say when you take old hooker to all you can eat seafood you walk away with a big bag of crabs"