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Joke of the Day

"Dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. Consider other things, like, do they have a lot of money."

"If you're on a motorized cart, I can't tell if you're disabled or just obese and lazy."

"An Olympic Gymnast walks into a bar. He gets a two point penalty and ruins his life-long ambition of becoming an Olympic medalist."

"Why does Peter Pan Fly? Because he Neverlands."

"Whenever I throw bread at the birds in the river I always miss Because they duck."

"What do you call a happy prosecutor? Smiles Edgeworth."

"Why did jesus not go to australia? He couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin."

"Two women were sitting quietly..."

"I just got a text from a woman I know that said only ""we z"". Did she just ask me to sleep with her in three letters? Nicely done!"

"Truthful Tuesday: The last time I had sex, I was so excited afterward I fired my musket skyward, alerting the Confederates to our presence."