212721

Joke of the Day

"An engineer went hunting... And found a set of tracks. He bent down to take a closer look and was run over by a train."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... ...the bartender glances at him and says: ""Hey! We got a drink here named after you!"" And the grasshopper says ""What, Larry?"""

"Q: What's faster than a black man stealing a T.V? A: His brother running with the V.C.R"

"What do parrots eat ? Polyfilla !"

"Did you hear Kevin Trudeau is working on a new book? It's called Prison Yard Secrets ""They"" Don't Want You to Know About."

"H: What is that you're having for lunch? Me: fruit salad H: That's funny, it looks like a sangria. Me: huh, weird *sips fruit salad*"

"Every time I walk into a Wal-Mart I think to myself, "" I've never seen so many of God's mistakes all in one place."""

"What do you call a smart knife? Cleaver! EDIT: Also Sharp, knew about this one but I like Cleaver better."

"This morning I combed my son's hair sideways and to the front then yelled ""you just got Bieber'd!"" He's not talking to me."

"How do they cook a turkey in Russia? They nuke it. OR In Soviet Russia, Turkey fires you!"