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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a smart knife? Cleaver! EDIT: Also Sharp, knew about this one but I like Cleaver better."

"Never take for granted someone that can make you smile or the fact that you have something to smile about."

"Ass. You've got a donkey. I've got a rooster. Your donkey bites one of the legs off of my rooster. What's the end result? One foot of my cock up your ass."

"Did you hear about the guy who thought he performed brain surgery on himself? Turned out, it was all in his head."

"I dated a soccer player once. I also learned a new word that's in poor taste to yell out during climax."

"did you hear what the little boy found when he opened his toy box? Raggedy Ann setting on Pinocchio's face screaming,""Lie to me, lie to me."""

"Where does Khal Drogo keep his DVDs? In *Arakh* Yeah you'd probably only get this if you read ASOIF but the joke came to me randomly."

"If you're riding a horse at full speed along side a giraffe and a lion is chasing you, what do you do? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. Props to the radio station I heard this on today."

"Online dating rule: If we meet up offline, and you look nothing like your pictures, then you're buying me drinks until you do."

"The Manager you asked to speak to doesn't give a fuck either."