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Joke of the Day

"lobsters would be proud of themselves if they knew how expensive they were"

"I would love to buy a Harley Davidson motorcycle... But I can't afford all the shirts."

"Doc: This pill may cause: Heart attack, stroke, minor weight gain, and death Me: WOAH BACK UP, weight gain? I'm out."

"My wife said she wanted to do it missionary style, so I forced her to change religions and gave her smallpox."

"What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto"

"Jewish Car Did you hear about the new Jewish car? Not only can it turn on a dime, but it can go back and pick it up too"

"Whats the best thing about dating Nicki Minaj? She won't fall in the toilet if you leave the seat up."

"What's the difference between a lobster with boobs and a filthy bus stop? One's a busty crustacean while the other's a crusty bus station."

"What does Santa call it when Mrs. Claus gives him road head? Getting sleighed."

"So I was in my house masturbating... and my sister comes up to me all indignant like. She asks me what the hell is wrong with me. I reply that she should knock before coming into her room."