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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between your mom and a rooster? A rooster says ""Cock-a-doddle-doo"", and your mom says ""Any-cock-will-do!"""

"Kids today will never know the horror that would come from seeing a payphone start ringing suddenly in the middle of the night."

"On one hand, eating meat is bad for your body, bad for animals and bad for the earth. On the other hand, bacon."

"""Knock knock"" Who's there? ""Russia"" Russia who? ""Get out of the house. I live here now."""

"Rattlesnakes and Condoms ...two things I don't fuck with."

"Which language does a drunk Scotsman speak? [x-post /r/puns] Scotch."

"A farmer spent over $12 million to see the effects of marijuana on cows... The steaks had never been higher."

"My wife has packed her things and left me... My wife has packed her things and left me due to my obsession with glass objects. Frankly, I'm shattered."

"What's the difference between a Russian ambassador and a chicken? The Russian ambassador is Turkey"