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Joke of the Day
"Showers: never want to get in, then never wanting to get out."
Next Joke
"I just yawned on the bus and two dudes gave me their phone numbers."
"I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis."
"Where did the Knights of the Round Table park their horses? In the Sir Lance Lot"
"Hard work pays off in in the future Laziness pays off now"
"What's the difference between a feminist and a battery? Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/how_many_feminists_does_it_take_to_change_a/"
"I think I have a genetic predisposition to diarrhea... It runs in my jeans."
"[first date] *pointing indiscriminately* ""uh-oh looks like we're on the Kiss Cam"" there's no- *leans in* there's no Kiss Cam at Applebees"
"What's the difference between your mama and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't follow me around for a week after I dump a load in it."
"Ate too much salad today so I'm going on an Oreos cleanse tomorrow."