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Joke of the Day

"What's Adolf Hitler's favourite computer game? Mein Kraft."

"You can pour up to 12 bowls of salad in your sweats before they kick you out of the Olive Garden."

"They really should call the Day After Tomorrow ""Threemorrow"""

"I was asked to leave the PTA because they don't consider what I do parenting."

"Girl, if you don't stop touching my crotch,... ...you might feel a small prick."

"How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them."

"Why is that Mac owners always say their computers never get viruses... ...when it is clear that being a pretentious douche is a clear example of a virus that is exclusive to Mac ownership?"

"[Seahawks locker room] Coach: okay if we want to win we will need to have a bigger number for the score! Wilson: well put! Well put!"

"Look into a dog's eyes while it's pooping and you'll understand Nietzsche."

"""Doctors report a new super effective painkiller."" Its axed shaped for splitting headaches!"