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Joke of the Day

"[at goverment office] hi yes um.. my social security number isnt workimg. i've never once felt secure in a social situation"

"A dolphin walks into a bar. Impossible, dolphins don't have legs."

"Knock knock... Who's there? Europe Europe who? No, you're a poo!"

"Did you hear about the hippy that drowned at the beach? Apparently he was too far out."

"do I wanna smoke? sure I'll smoke. I'll smoke u fools on the court when ur lung capacity is severely compromised. stay in school, be active"

"Why did Microsoft skip windows 9 and annouce windows 10? Because windows 7 8 9"

"So Kim Kardashian's arse is huge and has a lot of oil I wonder if America will invade it? Oh wait, my bad, half of America already has"

"How many surrealists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Fish."

"What has two legs and screams... half a dog."

"What do you call a gay Mexican? a spigot."