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Joke of the Day

"(NSFW) What did Isaac Newton's penis say to him when he first saw a girl's boobs ? Fuck your Gravity law man, I'm goin' up."

"At some point during texting, a text is sent that means: ""This is the end of the conversation. I'm gonna do something interesting now."""

"Why doesn't Seattle have a professional volleyball team? Because then the people would demand a professional football team"

"If the TV show 'Cops' has taught me anything it's to stay away from people with blurry faces, they always seem to attract trouble."

"[dinner party] *host clinks glass* ""Everyone we're having a baby""! *whispers to other guest* ""Oh come on! I told them I was a vegetarian."""

"Why did Microsoft skip Windows 9 and go straight to 10? Because Seven ate Nine!"

"What happens when Nigel Farage makes a promise? He brexit."

"""Hey little pirate, where are your buccaneers?"" ""Underneath my buckin hat!"""

"What's your favourite one-liner?"

"A mathematician walks into a bar. The bartender says ""You just missed happy hour. All drinks fifty percent off"" The mathematician says ""Thanks, I'll halve to remember that"""