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Joke of the Day

"Why do Russians celebrate Christmas on the 7th of January? Cause eight reindeer and a sleigh are a lot quicker than 6 pigs and a stoneboat."

"Jihadi math university question: Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes. He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the area it will cover after the explosion."

"What's a man's idea of a balanced diet? Beer in each hand!"

"I'm glad Lassie wasnt my dog. I just want to watch TV, I don't want to be constantly rescuing people."

"Why are Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse having a divorce? Because Minnie is fucking Goofy"

"If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? Genocide."

"Use chemicals to remove polish and no one cares.. But use chemicals to remove Polish and you're literally Hitler."

"I went to get a haircut today... ...but I couldn't remember what I wanted off the top of my head, so I left."

"Anniversary present Wife tells her husband that she wants something that goes from 0 to 200 in 3 seconds. And on their anniversary her husband hands her a scale."

"""Expecto me to be there"" Harry Potter RSVPing to a party"