211985

Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac? Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog."

"Oman and Yemen should switch names because if you find out you're gonna live in Oman, you go ""yeah man!!"" but if you find out you're gonna live in Yemen, you go ""oh man..."" Im so sorry"

"Contrary to popular belief, in Engineering, you do meet tons of women... Just not very many"

"Pikachu used racist comments It's super offensive!"

"I was sold a calculator with the plus button missing. Something doesn't quite add up."

"Have You Heard of the Arabic Santa Clause? No? Me either. It's because he's on the No-Fly list."

"Cubs fans last night looked more distraught than Patrick Kane's last blind date."

"Helpful tip: If you throw a baby at a tiger, I only recommend throwing a baby that you don't like."

"It would be easier on everyone if my kids' teachers would cut out the middle man and email my homework assignments directly to me."

"Diner: Waiter please close the window. Waiter: Why is there a draft? Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times."