211921

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new heated children's gloves that would turn on and off without warning? They worked inter-mitten-ly"

"Inkling sounds like a baby octopus"

"The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread."

"When did razors get so expensive? Three more payments and I'll be able to shave"

"Amazingly, this sentence contains all letters of the alphabet djkquvwxz"

"Cooking is actually really easy for anyone to do It's just that most people don't have thyme."

"People only hate jury duty because they have to go to a courthouse. Let em stay home and they'll tweet who's guilty all day."

"An IPv4 address walks into a restaurant... He says ""Quick, give me a drink. I'm exhausted"""

"Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won't be able to see us."

"The Foo Fighters wrote my favorite song about throwing up lunch There goes my hero!"