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Joke of the Day

"Vodka is made from potatoes. Which means once upon a time, someone looked a potato and figured out how to drink it. Genius."

"All of the Apple fanboys are missing the main feature they can hold over android users Their nude pictures are automatically synced to 4chan and reddit."

"which cola brand sources its water from the oceans? PepSi"

"Q: what did one ass cheek say to the other? A: together we can stop this shit"

"*spin kicks cigarette out of your mouth* Nothing is cooler than health"

"4th of July is the one day if the year I willingly sit outside all day."

"Going to the gym is such a great workout. I never actually enter the building, but the walk there is nice. Sometimes I even walk back."

"Why did the kids not want to eat their pbj sandwiches? 'Cause it had lead in them"

"My neighbour knocked on my door this morning at 2:30 am. 2:30! Luckily I was still up playing my drums."

"today i saw a dog barking at a ball and i thougt, ah yes, good dog. i too curse the very things which bring me joy"