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Joke of the Day

"I attend weddings purely to be fortunate enough to hear those two little words that always bring tears to my eyes - ""open bar"""

"Women and farting... Why do women hardly ever fart... Because they don't shut their mouth long enough to build up any pressure."

"My ambition is to be the last man on earth so that I can find out if all those girls were telling the truth."

"when people post the punchline in the title You know what I hate?"

"H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4? Drinking"

"[answering door on halloween] NEIGHBORHOOD MOM: please stop giving the children hamsters ME *hands full of hamsters*: but it's Halloween"

"If ignorance is bliss then explain Facebook."

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear and one is a great year"

"Do you want to know what's really annoying? [deleted]"

"What do you call a chicken coop with five doors? A hatchback."