211722

Joke of the Day

"i wear my ninja turtles costume on all of my first dates just to weed out the weirdos."

"It's Kim Kardashian's birthday. Which begs the question, ""What do you get the person who does nothing?"""

"Never ask white Americans what their ethnicity is unless you wanna hear a list of every European country and meaningless fractions."

"What do you call a Mexican baby born yesterday? Diego"

"It's Afro Carribean Hair Day at work tomorrow... ...I'm dreadin' it."

"Whenever it gets super cold outside, my penis exchanges its erection with my nipples."

"M.C. Escher walks into a bar forever."

"[radioshack meeting] employee: sir, overall sales are really low. CEO: when did we start selling overalls, bro?"

"Apparently, when your boss asks you to get a cake for a coworker's 60th birthday, 'cake' is not code for 'stripper.' Live & learn, guys."

"I offered a homeless man the rest of my Pumpkin Spiced Latte.. He said ""No thanks. I'm homeless, not a fag."""