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Joke of the Day

"Funerals are like family reunions minus one"

"I always think the same thing when I find a Zubat and when I meet a stuck-up woman... I'm not wasting my balls on that!"

"Why did the Scotsman sell drugs? He had to get plaid."

"What's the difference between au jus and a jew? Au jus is boiled but a jew is baked."

"What do you say to a thin American? How's the chemotherapy going?"

"Scientists had already discovered a ninth planet 5000 times the size of Pluto years ago Your Mum"

"The best jokes are the ones that have to be explained. Get it? Because that's the opposite of the truth, I was using sarcasm."

"town of terrorism joke https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qi_tTBfYQlI&list=UUuWKX9oJE45RXSsvGTDTKKQ"

"What's got four legs and one arm? A Rottweiler."

"Damn, girl, are you a map? Because you give me D-rections."