211406
Joke of the Day
"Men live better than women. First of all, they get married later and secondly, they die earlier."
Next Joke
"I can't find a reason to vote for the (D) or (R) candidate for President, and now Libertarian Gary Johnson's campaign slogan, 'Feel the Johnson' just rubs me the wrong way."
"Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says ""if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new...."" ""anything"" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic."
"Open letter to the mods of /r/Jokes [deleted]"
"When rapping in my car, I hold my phone to my ear so passersby think I'm on an intense business call."
"Autocorrect is like being drunk: You only realise what it did after you have left a bad impression."
"[kidnapper hands wife phone] ""brent"" BABY IM COMIN *kidnapper takes back phone but she can hear me yelling* IS THE HAM IN THE FRIDGE EXPIRED"
"our teacher used to make us do 100 lines if we'd been naughty. my nose was wrecked at the end of it"
"*christopre walken givig tour of apt* this is my.. walken closet. and these boots. these boots were made.. *long unecesary pause* for walken"
"What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped."