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Joke of the Day

"Chris Hansen loses his job and has to get a new job as a cashier at Walmart ""Why don't you take a receipt?"""

"What do you call a punk band that knows how to play their instruments? A metal band"

"Reports coming in of mass sheep rustling Suspects on the lamb"

"I almost had a threesome yesterday... i just needed two more people."

"Nice job Instagramming your plane ticket with enough personal information to take out a mortgage in your name."

"In America, we decide to bomb people after a week of reflection, but have debated the legality of smoking a plant for 40 years"

"What is the difference between a rental car and a Humvee? You can take a rental car anywhere."

"My left hand is dominant. Sometimes it spanks my right one."

"GOT knock knock Knock knock? Who's there? No one. No one, who? Jk it's Arya Stark. I'm out, Jaqen H'ghar."

"My wife and i were happy for 20 years. Then we met."