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Joke of the Day

"I bought a new book today called ""How to end your pet's life with dignity"" Even after I'd read it, I just couldn't put it down."

"Why didn't the melons get married? They were cantaloupes. ;)"

"What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot, you racist."

"Did you guys hear that you can survive just on plants? That is something i never herbivore!"

"Why isn't Mexico in the Summer Olympics? Everyone who can run, jump, and swim are already over here."

"What's the best way to make money with a plus-size modeling agency? Life insurance policies."

"[Text] 18: This Hotel wants me to pay for Wi-Fi?! Me: You do know someone pays for Wi-Fi at home too, right?"

"What happens when you step on an oily asian? Better not say. I feel like I'm already treading on a slippery slope."

"Son, do we have any dopted? Son: What is a dopted? Dad: You are! Son: Ha ha funny one dad.(Sarcastically) Dad: I'm not your dad!"

"What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a Hummer? A gray and red hairy paste."