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Joke of the Day

"man walks into lawyer's office. ""How much for a consultation?"" ""Three questions for $150 bucks."" ""Kinda steep, isn't it?"" ""Yeah, now what's your last question."""

"I can cut a piece of wood just by looking at it. It's true, I saw it with my own eyes!"

"A feminist got drunk at lunch, accused her boss of coming on to her, and slapped him in the face. She got loaded, triggered, and fired."

"5yo: I dreamt I ate your brownie. Me: Wait, what happened to my brownie?? 5: Dreams come true."

"A 2007 study showed that for high school students graduating in the US, 4/3 did not know how to properly use fractions. It might be an outdated study though."

"*walks past German Shepherd and nods* Officer..."

"what did the fish say to the jelous fish? ur jellyfish"

"What do you call movie night at Bill Cosby's house? Netflix and pill"

"Bought shoes from a drug dealer Not sure what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day!"

"JELLYFISH: *to friend* Want to see something disgusting? Watch this. *stings person* FRIEND: That wasn't dis... JELLYFISH: Wait a minute."