211064

Joke of the Day

"There wasn't any toilet paper, so I had to use the weekly to wipe my buttocks. Sorry about the shitty news."

"[having heart attack] HELP...CAN'T...MOVE ME: Dude, are you ok?! [faintly] CALL...ME...A...DOCTOR ME: Oh, sorry!! Doctor, are you ok?!"

"What's the difference between Iron Man And Iron Woman? Iron Man is a superhero, Iron Woman is a command."

"what will i do when i have an out-of-body experience? i'll see myself out...."

"The best part about stabbing Queen Latifah is watching all the BBQ pulled pork shoot out of her like silly string."

"What did the Mexican Fire Chief name his two sons? Jose and Hose B."

"What's the best thing about being a necrophiliac? You don't have to bring the flowers."

"I threw a boomerang a few years ago I now live in constant fear"

"Every time you use a q-tip... you turn a q into an o"

"CHEAP and EASY Hack for Getting in Touch With Your Inner Self: Use 1 ply toilet paper"