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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW]What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ."

"Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet."

"Q: What did the big chimney say to the little chimney? A: You're too young to smoke."

"Why do donut shops not hire security? Because Cops go there willingly. Free security and protection."

"If you had sex 365 times in one year and melted the rubbers down to make a tire, what would you call it? A fucking Goodyear! ! !"

"Jessica Biel's dad's first name is Batmo."

"I like listening to Phil Collins in the shower. He gets creeped out when he sees me, though."

"How do elephants smell? Really bad."

"Danke for calling Germany. To order beer, press 1. To order weapons, press 2. To order philosophy, press 1 until it resembles a 2."

"What do bees use to do their hair? Honeycombs!"