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Joke of the Day

"Nephews joke... What do you call a witch that goes to the beach? Sandwich(sandwitch) -my nephew"

"[fire] EVERYONE REMAIN CALM. Use the stairs. DO NOT use the elevators. We're on the 12th floor... *sigh* I guess I'm dying in a fire."

"eating the classic new york dish we all know and love that's right the individually purchased sleeve of ritz crackers"

"I love those lanes at the store where you can just bag your groceries, make some beep-boop noises and walk out without paying."

"Today i started stalking guys. Not for any gay reason but it's so much easier to do. Women always complain, guys don't suspect a thing."

"Clyde: I'm looking 4 a partner. What's ur name? ""Bonnie"" C: That ur real name? ""Nope. Jekyll Elizabeth Parker"" C: ...Bonnie it is"

"What do cows like to line dance to ? Any kind of moosic you like !"

"It is a good thing butt cracks are vertical... If they were horizontal, we would hear clapping every time someone used the stairs."

"How many radical, trans, love-fluid, non-binary persons does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 2 - one to do it and the other to comment on how it's symbolic of rape."

"I've never held a baby before ""It'll be fine"" *I accidentally put the baby in a box and mail it to North Korea*"