104454

Joke of the Day

"[fire] EVERYONE REMAIN CALM. Use the stairs. DO NOT use the elevators. We're on the 12th floor... *sigh* I guess I'm dying in a fire."

"*affixes a second leash to a hot babes dog while shes tying her shoe* would you look at that. we have the exact same dog. this is incredible"

"Wow, I got this new lamp from the store and didn't use a dime! But instead, I used 30$"

"All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy. "

"Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but it's not necessary to show it off."

"I went out with anorexic twins last night... 2 birds, 1 stone"

"Chuck Norris once round-house kicked a salesman. Over the phone."

"Why are you walking away when we're in the middle of discussing our wedding plans? Come back! At least give me your number!'"

"How can you tell vampirism is a disease? On account of the coffin."

"Hey baby, I'm a power source, and you're the kind of resistor i'd like to deliver my load to."