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Joke of the Day

"If you're looking for someone to tell you what to do in the bedroom I'm pretty good at instructing on how to install window blinds."

"Maybe the cost of a barrel of oil wouldn't be so expensive if Donkey Kong didn't waste thousands of them in the '80s throwing them at Mario."

"What do men and women have in common? Both need some tissues after watching a good movie."

"My girlfriend says she's leaving me because I'm obsess with football In my defence I got Kolarov,Otamendi,Thiago Silva and Dani Alves"

"What's the best angle to approach any challenge? Try-Angle."

"If you see me running down the road crying, it's because I hate running."

"How can you open a banana? - With a monkey! How can you open a banana? - With a monkey!"

"Rick Astley will loan you any movie in his Pixar collection except for one... He's never going to give you Up"

"A significant proportion of public restroom users are assholes. The rest are all either dicks or cunts."

"Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?"