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Joke of the Day

"I just tried to follow Tim Howard on twitter... I got blocked."

"Next time someone knocks on your bathroom stall say ""Sorry, I'm with a client."""

"Avocados by Dre. $79.99 each."

"*one day before marriage* Parents: Don't talk to the groom. Don't see him. Don't think. *one day after marriage* Parents: BABIES, BABIESS!"

"What's the difference between a pedophile and acne? NSFW One doesn't come on your face until your twelve"

"[Request] Not sure if this is the right subreddit I am looking for some funyun jokes, it is for school."

"Two smut writers get together... That night there was a lot of fanfriction."

"Man calls home before leaving the office, asks his wife to slide down the banister. To get his dinner warmed up."

"Old people talk into cell phones like they hit the Caps Lock key on their voice."

"Coworker: Man, it was cold last night! Me: I had my heat on. CW: I meant outside. Me: I don't live outside. CW..."