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Joke of the Day

"i'm so sorry sir, but we here at chase bank don't accept gun-for-money exchanges. and we need an amount, not just ""all the money you got"""

"In a village full of hipsters no one ever lied. Because hips don't lie."

"Showed up late for work and blamed it on rush hour. Showed up late again the next day and blamed it on rush hour 2."

"Why can't the average white girl pass Math? Because she can't even."

"The New York Post publishes rumours about Dwayne Johnson. He sues for defamation and wins. Rock beats paper. And the crowd goes wild."

"Why do cows need four legs to walk? Because they lactose. Moo"

"The movie 'Up' is utter bullshit. I tied 57,000 balloons to my house & my wife didn't die."

"It was hard work, but I finally fixed the laundry machine The wife beater is nice and clean again :)"

"The energizer bunny was arrested yesterday. He was charged with battery."

"I took biscuits with me on a date once. She called me a weirdo and said that biscuits was a stupid name for a cat."