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Joke of the Day

"How does a blind parachutist know when to pull his rip-chord? The leash goes slack..."

"Life is like a basketball... It has its ups and downs and is controlled by people that are taller and make more money than you."

"Why did the bigamist cross the road? To get to the other bride."

"What do Ted Cruz and Donald Trump's father have in common? They pulled out too late."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman!"

"(accidentally invented when heard words out of context) What kind of food did Hitler eat? Notseafood"

"Wanna hear a joke about ebola? You won't get it."

"My local barber was busted today for dealing drugs. I'm in shock. I've been a loyal customer for years and I had no idea he was a barber."

"My sister's a really bad driver. What makes you say that? Every time she goes out in the car Dad puts a glass panel in the floor so that she can see who she's run over."

"People complain about auto-correct but it is helpful 99% of the titties."