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Joke of the Day

"TIP: if ur worried about the airworthiness of the plane you're on offer it a chip. If it eats it you're on a seagull. Disembark immediately"

"And That's How the Fight Started. Wife: You are always so negative. Husband: I'll be more optimistic...I'm positive you're an idiot!"

"women love to see the veins in a man's arm. it shows he runs on blood, and not something more sinister"

"As a young southern farmer I used to dread wasting my time with hoes Now finally I can afford a tractor"

"What do I say when my favorite spice knocks on the door? Cumin!"

"My girlfriend treats me like I'm God She ignores my existence and doesn't ever speak to me."

"What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match."

"Where are smells made? In the olfactory."

"What do you call a woman that tries to force you into commitment? A booby trap"

"I've been single for a while now and I'm staring to realize something. They blur out A lot of Asian porn."