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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Grayhound station and a lobster who got a boob job? Ones a crusty ass bus station, the other is a busty ass crustacean."

"a single strawberry can make a hundred more strawberries, i swear nature is just another word for magic, a way to turn sunlight into sugar"

"What does an accountant call a friend's birthday party? (x-post from /r/tax) A present liability!"

"Which letter of the alphabet is the laziest? letter G (lethargy)"

"Anyone can give a definition for erectile dysfunction... It's not that hard."

"A Jewish boy tells his father... ""Daddy, daddy, I need to borrow $20."" The father replies, ""$10? What are you gonna buy for $5?"""

"When grocery shopping, I only buy foods that can also be used as a weapon. Cantaloupe is a good example of this."

"Why did Star Wars episodes 4, 5, and 6 come out before 1, 2 and 3 Because in charge of scheduling, Yoda was."

"When people ask me about my hobbies, I tell them I'm into birdwatching, photography and meeting new people. It sounds better than stalking."

"What do you call the act of turning over in bed to switch from the missionary position to doggy style? A sexual revolution."