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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Grayhound station and a lobster who got a boob job? Ones a crusty ass bus station, the other is a busty ass crustacean."

"Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants."

"Two tips for faster jogging- (1) hot girl in front of you; (2) creepy dude behind you. Also, if you're behind a (1) you're probably her (2)."

"If you're OCD and you know it, wash your hands."

"What has 100 legs and 3 teeth? A centipede on meth."

"A male frog calls a medium line and he is told he'll meet a beautiful lady frog. ""Will it happen at a ball?"" he asks. ""no , in a biology class"""

"I like to finish other people's sentences because my version is better."

"What's a buffalo's favorite activity? Grazing."

"What are the three rules of being a plumber? Hot on left; cold on right. Shit runs downhill. Never, ever, put your tools in your mouth."

"How is a Trump campaign chief like a vibrator? Both are charged with battery."