210418

Joke of the Day

"I don't see why we Brits don't celebrate 4th of July Surely 240 years of being officially seperate from America is something to be happy about"

"What does a bee say before it stings you ? This is going to hurt me a lot more than it hurts you !"

"What does PONTIAC stand for? Poor Old Nincompoop Thinks It's A Cadillac"

"What did the Jewish lady with Alzheimer's ask her husband? Why doesn't our daughter ever come home for Christmas?"

"AMERICAN DIVORCE If a man and a woman get married in Texas and move to Washington are they still brother and sister?"

"I used to perform circumcisions for a living. I got tons of tips."

"Hey boobs, keep up the good work!"

"[texting gf] February 13th ""I think we should spend some time apart"" February 15th ""Ok that was enough time"""

"What do a Christmas tree and a Priest have in common? The balls are just for decoration"

"The new neighbors moved in today. I brought them a box of condoms to show how much I don't want anymore children living on our street."