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Joke of the Day

"What do you call someone who is obsessed with Joan of Arc? A heroine addict."

"I'm so damn tired. I haven't slept since last year."

"Why spend all that time in school to be a doctor,, when you can save lives by forwarding an email or reposting a status on your Facebook wall?"

"[radioshack meeting] employee: sir, overall sales are really low. CEO: when did we start selling overalls, bro?"

"Why can't Irishmen be lawyers? They can never get past the bar."

"It's ironic that my sitcom about Abraham Lincoln was shot in front of a live audience."

"Why was the programmer unhappy at his job? He wanted arrays. It had to be reiterated several times before it was sorted out."

"What will be on the Denny's Menu when ISIS takes over? The Grand I-slam"

"Have you heard of the movie called constipation? No? Because it has not come out yet"

"Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn't improved since fourth grade."